One of the worst things you can do for your dog is to use positive reinforcement to attempt to fix your dog’s problem behaviors. Many owners mistakenly believe that if they just give their dog enough love, all of that dog’s problems will be solved. This is one of the biggest misconceptions to have about training and one that can seriously impede your dog’s ability to be a polite member of society. There’s nothing wrong with love your dog and showing your dog love, but there is something wrong with tacitly supporting your dog’s bad behavior by showing them love at inappropriate times.
You want to be your dog’s best friend, but just as with your children, sometimes you cannot be friends. Trying to be friends with your child, for example, will often result in behaviors that cross the line. You will not have the established authority that you need to step back and correct a negative behavior. No matter what you want to do, sometimes you need to be the pack leader first and the friend second. Until your dog learns what is acceptable behavior and what is not acceptable behavior, you cannot just be friends.
You want your dog to be able to sleep on your bed, but she turns around and pees on that bed when you leave her home alone. You want to hug her and give her kisses, but she is trying to attack the mailman or other dogs while you are on your walk. If you do not establish yourself as the authority figure in your house, your dog will believe that she has free reign to do whatever she wants. She will think that she is in charge, and this can lead to some very serious problem behaviors.
Treats, hugs, and love will not solve your dog’s problems. They cannot even always help to solve a dog’s self-esteem issues. You just want your dog to know that she is loved and accepted, but sometimes this is seen by your dog as an endorsement to do whatever she wants, whenever she wants. This cannot be how you approach leading your dog. Only when they have a very clear picture of what you want them to do and what they absolutely cannot do can you start treating her like a friend.
When you bring a new dog into your whether, whether this is your first dog or whether this is your fifth dog, your first goal should be to establish yourself as the authority figure. You have the first and last say on what is good behavior and what is bad behavior. Your dog, just like your human children, should feel that they are safe and loved even when they make mistakes, but their bad behavior should not be free of consequences nor should you not seek to correct bad behavior when it occurs.
If your solution to bad behavior is only to love your dog more, she is going to become confused. She is not going to understand why sometimes her bad behavior elicits annoyance and why sometimes it elicits a cookie. You have to set up clear boundaries and rule and then expect your dog to follow those rules, rewarding her when she does and correcting her when she does not. Once she understands that you are the leader and that what you say goes, then can the two of you be the best of friends.
