It can be tough, sometimes. You just want to enjoy time with your dog and they’re misbehaving or you can’t seem to get a handle on the situation. Lots of people ask how my relationship with their dog is so much better than their relationship with their furry friend. Here are my tips and tricks for enhancing that special relationship:
Well, other than the obvious fact that my occupation is to develop a relationship with dogs, it’s really quite simple; you live with them, I don’t.
I can be anything I want to be when I’m training your dog. I can be a rule enforcer, a means of creating awesome experiences, a mode of delivery for good things and bad. Truth is I can be anything I want for a short period of time. Most owners struggle with trying to be a lover, provider, leader, friend and companion all in one day, which can be extremely hard when you’re wearing so many hats. When we train we can be one of those things in an hour session, and then when I leave, that hat comes off and is replaced with something else. You live with your dog 24 hours a day 7 days a week. They’re bound to pick up bad habits and learn to test boundaries, because just like our dogs, we can’t be perfect. I don’t expect any client or dog to be perfect, just aware. Be aware of what you’re saying to your dog, the messages you’re sending to him or her and of how those messages will translate to behavior.
I’m able to put my dog trainer’s hat on and take it off, but many times you can’t.
I know one thing, I can be on point, wearing my dog trainer hat for one hour, but if you ask me to wear it for 24 hours straight, even I will tell you that it’s impossible! Clients many times wonder how I get the incredible, life altering results with their dog in just two weeks; it’s mainly because when their dog is out for training and I’m working with them, I’m ON POINT! I always creating an environment where the dog can learn and I make sure that my dog training hat is on and fastened securely. I always put myself in a position to tell your dog what I need and in a place where I can always follow through. I’m offering an environment where there are no mixed messages and therefore, you dog’s learning is accelerated. I create an environment to tell your dog exactly what I need from them so that they learn through repetition, so that when they go home to you, they know what is expected and have learned behaviors, so that all you need to do is follow through. So how do you create the same environment you ask?
Be Exactly Who You Mean to Be
Be the leader that you would want to follow and don’t give your dog mixed messages- don’t say “yes” to some things sometimes and “no” to the same things other times. Don’t feed them from the table one day and then yell at them when they beg for food the next!
Be Predictable
When you want to teach your dog something new, be in the moment and then put them away (kennel or confined) so that they can relax and let it all soak in. Make the time to teach them what you want and then limit their choices when no “learning” is taking place. Your dog learns even when you are not teaching them! so make those moments limited as to what they can choose to do.
I give dogs clear rules and expectations, whereas yours may sometimes be clouded with love and affection, i.e. being a push over, always giving them want instead of what they need, etc. We sometimes overlook what our dogs truly need by putting our emotions first. Being overly emotional with our dogs can cause all kinds of behavioral issues. Petting, holding, hugging, saying “it’s ok” when they are losing it ultimately reinforces behavior. It only makes US feel better because that is the HUMAN way of dealing with things. Dogs really need someone to show them how to handle new experiences, environments and situations. It’s your job to show them what you want and how they should act. Petting, holding, hugging, etc., is a sign of weakness to dogs- if they feel like you can’t handle it, then they will. Again, be the leader YOU would want to follow. There is always a time and place for love and affection, but it is definitely not when your dog is having a meltdown. In that situation, you need to be strong and a good leader. “Let’s do this together” and “I’ve got your back” is more beneficial than “it’s ok”. I can be whoever I want for an hour at a time and so can you! be who your dog needs you to be in the moment and then give yourself and your dog a chance to turn it off and take a break. You are always giving your dog some kind of information on a daily basis. Just like children, control what goes in so that later on in life they can be expected to make good decisions on their own without constant guidance.
Now maybe you’re saying: “it’s hard”, “when do I NOT have to do these things anymore”, “when can I get rid of the crate”, “when does my dog not have to wear a leash in the house anymore”, “when can they stop wearing these collars”, etc. My answer is always this: it depends on how diligent you are in the beginning. The more diligent you are and the more you maintain who you want to be for your dog the faster you can get to just living together! If you are always giving mixed messages and you’re all too quick to ditch the training tools, then the result may be a dog who is just “ok” sometimes and tests the boundaries other times. Be exactly who your dog needs to be at that very moment. In every learning situation, be “on”, be present and all of those “tools” will very quickly become unnecessary. “But it’s so hard.” Well, life is hard, and all you can do is your best! The time and the work may be a lot now, but think of all of the fun carefree years ahead of you! Hard work for 6 months and 12 years of happiness, joy and freedom sounds like a pretty awesome deal to me. Being inconsistent for 6 months only leads to years of inconsistent behavior and not that much freedom or fun.
I can create a bond and a relationship of mutual respect in an extremely short period of time that blows most people’s minds.
Why this happens, you ask?
Well, the experiences your dog receives with me are limited in the very beginning to training; “follow me”, “look to me”, and “receive everything you need from me”. I start to become a very important human in your dog’s life. I’m the one who gives them access to the outside, along with food and water which is obviously extremely important to your dog. They start to learn how important I am to getting what they want, and in return, all I ask for is a few things.
- Sit at a door and wait until we go out together.
- Hang out in one spot no matter what and I will feed you.
- Walk nicely and we will get to where we are going faster and with less energy or struggle than is necessary.
I am teaching dogs to be aware and respectful and in turn we have a mutually beneficial relationship. I respect them to give them what they want and need and they respect me to give me what I want and need, in exchange.
It’s not rocket science. You just need to be willing and prepared to do what is necessary to make the changes and teach your dog. Time and effort now always equals freedom in the end. Look at the big picture! I want a relationship with my dogs and obedience training is a mode of transportation to get us to that end goal!
